So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
dude. I can hear the air.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
