He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
