Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize