im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
