I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
