This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
