It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
