i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
