Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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