she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
