I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Randomize
