Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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