i can't believe i had my finger in that
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
