You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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