in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
operation harelip BJ is a go
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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