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My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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