all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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