If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
