Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
