i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
