they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
