That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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