I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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