O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
