Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize