Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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