I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
