You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
my poor anus
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
