had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
