thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You smell like stripper and shame
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize