I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
