Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
