I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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