i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
