Do you still have your period?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
