I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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