loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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