Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
