Its about making memories worth repressing
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
