You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
