So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
