It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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