ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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