help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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