Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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