O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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