i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize