Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize