im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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