Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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