a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
