jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
