tell your sister to shave her snatch
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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