I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
