hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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