Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
