Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
