did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
