the condom got lost in my hair
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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