I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
