After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is my gift to your gina
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
