but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I understand Curling. That high.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
