I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
