You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
