I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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