Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
