Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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