Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
