just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
