I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we made out on top of his cat.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
