How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
