speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize