i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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