Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
