i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize