this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
