Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
honey bunches of taint.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
